But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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