I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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