we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
