I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
