Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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