This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
