You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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