i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
