just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
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