How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
