Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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