I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
i need to put some appletini on your dick
You had me at "let me see your balls"
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
