JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
