I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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