It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
