I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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