I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
you never un-have a 4some
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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