You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
