are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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