So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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