Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
