im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
