It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
