Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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