So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
