Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
