oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
