Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I smell like Dick and happiness
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
