I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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