a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
