On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I think your dad took our porno
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
