The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I'm both gender and math confused
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
