she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
