come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
