I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
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