Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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