Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
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