My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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