um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
It was like getting head from an anaconda
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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