Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
