it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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