Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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