dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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