More tranny stories later!
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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