can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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