I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
