i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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