Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
