Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
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