That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
